It was just over six years ago that I walked out of the building with the big blue R on it in Franklin, TN, and I drove away from what I now consider to be a cult of personality (or something very much like one).
I took off my red hat, so to speak, and left it there in Middle Tennessee.
At that point, I had been an acolyte of Ramsey, a pharisee of pharisees in the church of Financial Peace for almost 12 years. A third of my life.
It's a memory that is fading, something that is mostly in the rear view mirror. I still think about it, and it still comes up in conversations from time to time - it did twice in the last week with two different people. I don't mind at all helping others process their feelings, and despite what one person I talked to recently thought, It isn't traumatic for me. If anything it's still cathartic.
There is always something on my mind when this anniversary rolls around. But, I will keep it short, unlike my past writings.
One thing I have come to realize after watching too many documentaries on the subject is this - cults of personality eventually fizzle out. The person in the center will get old and eventually die. Or, their criminal behavior eventually sends them to prison like Keith Raniere. Or they meet tragic and sudden end like Gwen Shamblin. Or, enough cracks in the carefully molded facade start to show, and the followers realize they had been deceived.
How ever it ends, there is life, friendship and freedom afterwards.
Freedom? Freedom from my faith being co-opted as a tool for conformance. Freedom from the recurring reminders of there being "spiritual warfare" at play when anything negative happened. Freedom from the othering "us-vs-them" mentality. I see enough of all of that on the "news" channels these days directed at different people groups, always looking for someone else to blame, for a scapegoat for a company or a country.
There is friendship in the encouragement and camaraderie I have experienced. I have only encountered a few people who questioned why I got sucked into that place. Most simply echo a sentiment like "We are glad you got out", maybe occasionally mixed with "That place always felt off, but we didn't know how to say anything about it."
There are plenty of friends who shared the same experience. And, many have come to me to quietly process their complicated feelings on their years of service. Those are my people, and I've been glad to talk to so many these past six years.